January 14, 2009

The New JS

I've been by to try to set up my old blog...but to no avail. I can't use my old name, but there is no one else using it either--I am told that means some of my old blog was salvaged, but no one has contacted me about it and so I don't know for sure. Regardless, I had my entire blog archived; I don't care what they salvaged--I've got what I need.

All I want is to be able to go back to being GoGo at Journalspace. I just want what was familiar. I just want to know instead of feeling like I'm still in limbo.

So many other bloggers have got their old JS names--I just want mine. Or, I want to hear from someone telling me what's going on. Right now it feel like it was a lot better when there was just no more JS at all. I can't help but feeling jealous of the others who have retrieved their names...even though I can appreciate that they might be feeling like just getting a name back isn't very much.

It feels like more than I've got. 

I've lost my identity.

I just want to go home.

I am pouting.


January 13, 2009

This is the company some of my company is training with for 3 weeks--and it is thrilling!

Tonight we will be exploring weight sharing. Last night's training at SATE was exhilarating...but I ache all over today. It's a good ache, though. Well worth it.

I look forward to tomorrow's ache, as well. It should be stunning.


Good to be Home

My company got back to weekly training tonight after our holiday--and it was FABULOUS!!

Tomorrow night I continue my 3 week workshop with PILOBOLUS...this week just keeps getting better, and it's only just beginning.

2009 gets better and better and better and...

Life is GREAT!


January 11, 2009


I am no longer allowing anonymous comments in my blog. 

Trust me, for the most part I believe that my anonymous commenters mean well and I really do know who most of them are (by design)...but then there is always the off-chance that either my stalker or some family member is in here trying to control me or scare me, and frankly I'm done with that shit.

If you care enough about what I say to comment at all, then from now on you are going to be required to man-up and at least come up with some sort of imaginative nom de plume. If you can't do that, then really you're not interesting enough to be commenting in here anyway.

As for my regular "anonymous" visitor--you know this isn't about you, so don't sweat the small stuff. This is about holier-than-thou fucktards who think they're being sneaky. 

Oh. And with regard to my previous post: the wait was well worth it, and 2009 promises to be the year of the powerhouse orgasm. I love my 40's.


January 10, 2009


A woman--a wife--can only go so long...should only have to go so long, and then it becomes unbearable. Unsatisfactory. Unfair. And she becomes unhappy. 

I don't know how much longer I can do this. 

I am so frustrated I could scream...and I probably will.


January 8, 2009

The Gift of Fear

Currently the book I am reading, by Gavin De Becker, because for roughly the past 9 years I have been dealing with a stalker of sorts. Probably my stalker's been at it for considerably longer than that--but I've only been dealing with it (on and off) for the last 9.


And, I must admit, in the past 6 months or so it has been brought to my attention how very scary it really is.

So scary, in fact, that there are actually people I can't let this person know I know for fear of psychotic retaliation of some sort. It is as bizarre as it sounds.

And now this stalker is shadowing me online--and it is getting downright maddening. Everywhere I turn, this person has followed me somewhere or made friends with someone I know or joined some group I have joined. 

Likely this stalker will eventually find me here, as well--it always happens. But, as luck would have it--as in most plays written about living people, stalker will not recognize that stalker has been written about and will, instead, jump on the wagon of concern. It's happened before...and actually that part of it is kind of amusing...in a sick, perverted, "taunt the crazy person" kind of way.

I will write about this in more depth another time. Right now I am discovering that it is more difficult to write about a stalker than I had imagined.

I have a really good "protector," though, who helps me keep tabs on stalker--almost like stalking in reverse! Trouble is, I don't think I have enough information about stalker to take it all as seriously as I probably should. I've been led to believe that it is already at a disturbing level, but I don't know all the details. 

I just know I'm sick of being shadowed and all I can do is pray that this stalker hasn't used knowing me as a way to insinuate that stalker is actually credible to what seem to be "mutual friends." That. Would. Suck. I do not want to be in the same sentence with this person.


Also I do not want to become a statistic.

Scariest thing of all? Stalker knows the +4 of my zip code. I didn't even know it...


January 6, 2009

Nothing Much

Having a rather quiet day resting my voice so that I am in good voice for the show tonight. LittleMe is home sick, so I'm glad that tonight is the last performance...I don't think I could sing with the kind of chest cold she's got.

Thursday night I begin a 3 week workshop with Pilobolus (dance company). Of course, the workshop begins tonight, but I have a show... So far 4 of us from my company are going and it should prove to be utterly amazing! I have admired Pilobolus since I was 11 years old when I watched them do a dance in the nude--it was scandalous to me at the time, but now I have such a different appreciation for what they do. I can't wait to learn some of their choreography techniques so that we can incorporate what we learn into our own training. 

I am really missing JS, right about now. Many of us have connected on facebook, but it just isn't the same. And, neither is blogspot. (I love how none of these places internal spellcheckers ever recognize their own names).

Last night's show was amazing--the audience was full of people I adore, and I felt like a million bucks when I took the stage to hoots and applause! I've never really experienced anything like that before, but I could get used to it! And, we had maybe expected about 100-150 people, and had over 250 in the audience!! Rock. On.

Hope tonight's show goes as well--I'm looking forward to singing the songs I love...


January 2, 2009

Starting 2009 Off With a BANG!

The stomach flu will do that. 

I spent the better part of the first day of 2009 laying as still as possible so as to avoid any further tummy disruptions. Luckily I am the master of never actually having to throw up when I have the stomach flu--Tadashi Suzuki wasn't lying when he said that there was an art to stillness...

I've found a slew of Journalspace refugees and their blogs! It sucks that we don't still have our home, but at least we are slowly finding each other. There are so many I fear are lost forever, though.

Now I'm just waiting around to see how many other family members fall to the sickness. So far it's just been LittleMan and me, but Hub-O-Matic has been taking care of all of us and the girls are normally pretty susceptible. I hope we're it, though. Oh, and of course my dad who brought it into the house in the first place--I had so hoped it was food poisoning.


My head has been pounding for hours, now, and so I think I will give in and take something. Ignoring it hasn't worked, so...