January 8, 2009

The Gift of Fear

Currently the book I am reading, by Gavin De Becker, because for roughly the past 9 years I have been dealing with a stalker of sorts. Probably my stalker's been at it for considerably longer than that--but I've only been dealing with it (on and off) for the last 9.


And, I must admit, in the past 6 months or so it has been brought to my attention how very scary it really is.

So scary, in fact, that there are actually people I can't let this person know I know for fear of psychotic retaliation of some sort. It is as bizarre as it sounds.

And now this stalker is shadowing me online--and it is getting downright maddening. Everywhere I turn, this person has followed me somewhere or made friends with someone I know or joined some group I have joined. 

Likely this stalker will eventually find me here, as well--it always happens. But, as luck would have it--as in most plays written about living people, stalker will not recognize that stalker has been written about and will, instead, jump on the wagon of concern. It's happened before...and actually that part of it is kind of amusing...in a sick, perverted, "taunt the crazy person" kind of way.

I will write about this in more depth another time. Right now I am discovering that it is more difficult to write about a stalker than I had imagined.

I have a really good "protector," though, who helps me keep tabs on stalker--almost like stalking in reverse! Trouble is, I don't think I have enough information about stalker to take it all as seriously as I probably should. I've been led to believe that it is already at a disturbing level, but I don't know all the details. 

I just know I'm sick of being shadowed and all I can do is pray that this stalker hasn't used knowing me as a way to insinuate that stalker is actually credible to what seem to be "mutual friends." That. Would. Suck. I do not want to be in the same sentence with this person.


Also I do not want to become a statistic.

Scariest thing of all? Stalker knows the +4 of my zip code. I didn't even know it...



morphinekisses said...

I remember, years ago, when I used to think that having a stalker might be endearing or kind of cute. Then I had one and realized it is nothing of the sort. It can get scary, and if not, then it just gets downright annoying.

I hope they go away and leave you alone soon enough, hon.

Lone Wolf said...

I couldn't imagine going thru that. I hope somehow you're able to resolve the issue. I can't imagine the person wouldn't realize that the person you are writing about here is them. Wouldn't one stop and think, "Hey, wait sec, *I* do all those things... so is she talking about ME?"

yackydoodle said...

I pray that your protector continues his vigilance....

Mary Kitt-Neel said...

i think you're wise to write about it. of course you risk the stalker picking up even more information, but the more of your friends who know, the more your protector has back-up. do take care, and don't be afraid to contact law enforcement if you need to.

GoGo said...

I know you'd think my protector would be a he...but actually my protector is a she. A very secret she who had sense enough to wake me up to how scary stalker is...


raej said...

Of course I know I'm stalking you, silly! This whole "moving to Seattle" thing was just an elaborate ruse.

By the way, you were 2 minutes late getting coffee this morning. Don't let it happen again.

DrStrangelove said...

I'm glad you have a protector. Be careful, Miss M. There are some crazy people in this world.


Labetine said...

I just found your journal. What you're talking about is so scary. I'm glad you have someone protecting you. Be very careful!

Judy said...

I had a stalker once but only online.

Please be careful!

I'm glad you have someone protecting you.



Anonymous said...

It does sound troubling. I actually remember writing to you privately years ago, to tip you off that you had posted enough personal information on your JS blog that someone could get not only your last four digit zip code, but a photo of the house you lived in, together with directions how to get there.

There are ample examples of how the wonderful power of the internet can be misused. I don't even like people I care about using facebook, but they do.

GoGo said...
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